When in review what can I say it has been a year of new
experiences some was very negative, and some not so much some good some bad
some exciting and some just not even worth thinking about. . . The year had its
massive ups and some even bigger downs. . Some so down that I now firmly
believe that without grace it could have turned out quite different . . .
So in reflecting on the year the highlights at first glance
seemed slightly overshadowed by some serious happenings yet: I made more money
in one month than ever before although this year has been my lowest earning
year in about three to four years , and yes that ads up unfortunately. I am
working very hard to change that for the New Year. . .
I learned a couple of big things the past year not all
positive yet still very valuable lessons, I learned that I can sustain myself
on my own from my own with some effort, I learned that there is very few people
who you can really rely on but they will quickly show you who they are, I learned that having a positive
outlook on even the worst of things can change the outcome for yourself, I
learned that the world stands still for no one or nothing and many more little
things and bigger things but let’s get down to the year. .
What I've lost a bit in the past year . . . it’s what at the
core makes it seem like such a bad year however I am still here and that for
itself is something to be very grateful for. . The forever that was promised to
me was quickly forgotten to my dismay for another’s companionship however I have been feeling it
for some time, I lost having the dearest two pieces of my heart around me every
day, I lost the use of part of my back however by grace it will be erased, I lost some hero’s, I lost more than just a
few fake friends, I lost everything I built up for the past 10 years, I lost
faith in humanity however I found it again, I lost my appetite for sugar, I
lost my car, I lost the son that wasn't mine by his own choice. . .I lost my
future and our destiny I lost the planned out life I dream about, I lost a few
family members, I lost some weight, I lost some keys a little money some respect
and more than just a few hours in time, I lost a bit of reality. .but what
comes next makes it all seem so small like the wise men always say never let the
past control your future. . .
But after the losses I found things that were much bigger
than the things I have lost I have found a spark in my soul, and a new spirit
to live on and go for more. I found a new light where there was before just
darkness and unhappiness, I found power within where there were none before I
found a piece of myself that just keeps moving forward no matter what, through
hardships and heartache, I found caring people where I never thought I would, I
found opportunity in loss, I found invaluable knowledge, I found my bodies
strength through its hardship. . I found salvation through perseverance, I
found a new destiny, I found a new future I found that those who truly matter
will stand up when it really matters, I found greatness in those who seemed
weak, I found myself new and I found myself driven . . . I found bonds that
cannot be broken by the wrongs of others, I found happiness inside . . . I
found my bottom and started climbing right back. .
So after all it has been a massive year but the more I
reflect on it the better it becomes definitely one that will for ever be
imprinted in my brain, one I shall not easily forget but for the lessons and
not the neglect. .
I look forward to a new year a year that is more than just
filled with promise but a year that is filled with happiness joy and more of
the good I look forward to touching my dreams and holding hands with destiny. .
I look forward to receiving more and giving even more I look forward to living
more and learning more I look forward to being surprised and being amazed I
look forward to health and wealth, friendship and fantasy all coming true for I
look forward mostly to live in my dreams and be who I have always intended to
be I look forward to helping those in need and making a difference I look
forward to every day and every moment that comes my way I look forward to every
breath and every second I look forward to another year of life. . .
